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Celebrating Pregnancy despite the Outcome

Telling the news of a pregnancy when a pregnancy is planned is something that is usually associated with a celebration.  Whether you call a friend on the phone or plan an elaborate baby shower, the emotional joy and pure state of bliss is life-altering.  When a woman has not planned a pregnancy, unwanted, or maternal and infant complications arise, it becomes even more important to celebrate.

A celebration creates a positive social atmosphere that should be done whether the pregnancy is considered a good thing or a bad thing.  Of course, an explanation is certainly due to support this idea.  A celebration of conception, baby’s development, and birth generally are associated with being good.  But it can be proposed that a “celebration” is also helpful especially when the pregnancy is considered bad.  The definition of celebrating is “to observe (a day or event) with ceremonies of respect, festivity, or rejoicing.”  This definition should be extended to “unfortunate” and “unplanned” events as well.  We have this for example with funerals where we come together to “celebrate” the life of someone close to us.  I would argue that women who go through an unplanned or difficult pregnancy also deserve the chance to celebrate.  Below are some scenarios that illustrate reasons why every pregnant woman has the right to celebrate.

• A woman who has decided to carry a pregnancy through and give it up for adoption because she cannot handle the responsibility, is something that should be celebrated no matter her age, social status, or race.  In fact, it is something to be celebrated to the highest extent because some women are not yet at the point where they can accept that it will be difficult for them to raise a child in this world and so they go forth with it when it is likely to cause problems for both themselves and the children they raise.  The decision to let your child go up for adoption is very emotional and should be handled with the same celebration that would go into a regular baby shower.

• A woman, who has decided to proceed with an abortion because her body cannot carry the baby without hurting her, is something that should be celebrated.  The pure fact that her life was in danger and was saved by her choice to live is something that while depressing, should cause her to celebrate your life and existence on this planet. 

• Likewise a woman who has decided to get an abortion, but because she is simply not ready to have a child and does not think it fair to add to the world’s population crisis and foster care systems is also cause for celebration.  Even though some might argue that the pregnancy should have been avoided altogether if that were the case, this is very judgmental because no one knows except for that woman exactly all the emotional reasons that went into how the pregnancy began. 

•  A woman, who has decided to keep a child despite all the social and economic obstacles, is something that should also be celebrated.  Why?  Because this mother is willing to accept ridicule and the economic challenges that are to come in order to allow a life she created to be given a chance on this planet.  This is great cause for celebration not only because you do not have to be rich to raise a healthy and happy child, but also because of the fact that families that have seen tough times are often closer as a result.

• A woman, who has decided to have an abortion because she is only 15 and wants to finish school, is something to be celebrated.  Why?  Because education is the key to not only personal freedom, but also social and financial freedom.  This is to also be celebrated in high terms and supported because we need more people in this world who are receiving a good education.

• Also, a woman who has had a miscarriage should also be supported if not celebrated in the sense that through this loss she is finding ways to move forward either through the hope of another pregnancy, adoption, or just the hope to take care of her spiritually, physically, and mentally.

All of these women have discovered something very important through these unplanned challenges.  They all deserve to have support, if not a celebration held in their honor.  They have learned what is the quality of life, what they must do to have a good life, and they have faced a serious life-altering condition that will forever change their lives.  Most people do not have to make these life-altering decisions on a daily basis, and because of this, they should refrain from judgment and do everything they possibly can to support whatever outcome a pregnancy has for the woman. 

A celebration is required, no matter what. And if you are around someone who is faced with these kinds of decisions, it is important for you to let them know you want to celebrate “life” with them in whatever way they choose.  Like childbirth, pregnancy is also an incredible experience for women all over the world.  Whether planned or unplanned, take the time to become educated, help her develop a network of support, and most importantly celebrate, no matter what the circumstances.
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