Remember that Parents are Human
Children often expect parents to be strong or invincible but the truth is that parents are human too. Even the most loving and patient parents are going to make mistakes while raising a child. Remember, no one book tells a parent how to be ideal, considering there are so many different factors involved. If you are a parent, you do have access to some helpful resources but you also need to understand that mistakes are going to happen.
It is important to understand that your behavior and attitude in life will have a direct impact on your child. The more stable environment you can provide, a life filled with love, support, and proper discipline the better your child will develop normally. The key with any parent/child relationship has to do with communication. The two of you have to talk about things, to include school, relationships, challenges, goals, and dreams. Keeping the communication line open will help to socialize your child while giving him or her much better opportunity of succeeding in life.
To ensure you make fewer mistakes while raising your son or daughter, you need to know the most common things with which parents struggle. Regardless whether your child is young or already out of the house and on his/her own, good parenting makes a huge difference.
All children will go through periods of rebellion. These times are tough, often forcing the parent to deal with defiance, stubbornness, and even sassy talking back. For starters, realize that this phase of your child’s life will happen but to what degree no one knows until he/she is in the situation. Some children will have little rebellion while others go over the top. Although normal, parents can make the time of rebellion worse by over-supervising or over-parenting.
Typically, the years of rebellion will occur during the teenage years, a time when your child is trying to gain independence and figure things out. By being too strict or forcing too much parental advice on him/her, you will likely see the rebellion become worse. While you still need to set boundaries and provide guidance, keep the amount to a manageable level. In other words, you need to provide your child with the opportunity to spread his/her wings. Otherwise, your child will never learn how to grow into a healthy-minded adult.
While no parent wants to think that their child steals, most will try it at least once. If you find that your child has stolen something small, you could certainly give them one free ride to include a good talking to but if the problem happens more than one time, they need to learn responsibility. For instance, if your child stole a pack of gum and you found out once you arrived back home, take the gum away and then explain to your child why stealing is wrong.
However, the next time a pack of gum or anything else were stolen, drive your child back to the store from where the item was taken, requiring him/her to go inside, hand the item back over to the clerk along with the money, and fess up along with an apology. It is critical that your child learn right from wrong and sometimes, you will need to make the child accountable. Yes, this is hard to do but imperative for helping your child learn a very important lesson.
All children, regardless of age, need rules. By establishing boundaries, you are actually accomplishing two things. First, you are teaching your child what is and is not appropriate, a lesson that can be carried throughout life. Second, you actually create a sense of security for the child. Most kids want rules and discipline. By having boundaries, the child feels as if you care more while allowing him/her to use you as a scapegoat.
In a prime example, if you have a child that is being persuaded by a group of kids at school to go somewhere that he/she knows is unwise, the child can use the rules as a way of getting out of the situation, telling the kids that’s his/her parent will not allow them to go. Rules are an essential part of any child’s life, helping him/her immediately but also preparing that child for going off to college or entering the workplace.
Finally, you need to teach your child the proper way to budget, spend, and save. Too often in today’s society, parents hand money over as if it were no big deal. Unfortunately, buying your child everything he or she wants is not giving a good example of finance management. Instead, provide your child with a means of making the money. You could offer odd jobs around the house or yard and then paying the child for services rendered. In addition to feeling a sense of accomplishment, your child will gain an entirely different outlook on money.
These and many other mistakes show that parents are human. We make mistakes throughout the child-rearing years but we can correct them too. One of the most important lessons you can provide to your child is letting him/her see that parents are human. If you cry in front of your child, do not feel bad and if you need to correct a mistake, do not worry. While you want to avoid mistakes as much as possible, when you make one, you are enforcing the theory that parents are human and we too are learning right along with the child.